5 Ways I Used Blame to Give My Power Away
There was a season in my life when I didn’t realize how much power I was handing out—not to strangers, nor to enemies, but to circumstances, disappointment, and unmet expectations. Blame felt justified and even protective. But each time I blamed others, I quietly stepped out of my own authority. Here are five ways I used blame to give my power away — and how I’m learning to take it back.
1. I Blamed Other People for My Stagnation
If someone didn’t support me, if an opportunity didn’t come through, I told myself it was because of them. The truth? Sometimes I was waiting for validation, waiting for permission, waiting for someone else to believe before I fully believed in myself. Blame kept me small because it let me avoid risk. When I stopped blaming, I had to ask: What am I not doing because I’m afraid? That question changed everything.
2. I Blamed My Circumstances
Farm life is beautiful yet demanding. Motherhood is sacred yet exhausting. Marriage and entrepreneurship take intention and grit. There were moments I’d say, “I can’t because of this season.” Sometimes seasons are real. But often, “season” is just a comfortable story. Blame let me say, “This is happening to me.” Ownership let me ask, “What can I create within this?” There is always something we can steward.
3. I Blamed the Past
Old hurts, betrayals, and disappointments made it easier to point backward than move forward. Blame keeps you emotionally tethered to what you want freedom from. When I released the need to replay the story, I reclaimed lost energy. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing behavior; it’s about refusing to let the past control your present authority.
4. I Blamed Other People’s Behavior for My Reactions
“It’s not me. It’s how they treated me.” But maturity is realizing: I am responsible for how I respond. Blame made me reactive; ownership made me intentional. There is strength in pausing and power in choosing your response.
5. I Blamed “Not Being Enough”
If something didn’t work out, I could blame my perceived flaws: not polished, connected, or influential enough. Self-blame is still blame, and it still gives your power away. Because it says, “There’s something wrong with me.” The truth I’m standing on now is: You are never just an anything. Blame shrinks identity; responsibility expands it.
What Taking My Power Back Looks Like
It looks like asking harder questions, choosing response over reaction, building quietly when no one is clapping, and letting people misunderstand you and continuing anyway. Blame feels powerful in the moment, but ownership is where real power lives. When you stop blaming, you stop waiting. You start building, leading, becoming. And that is where freedom begins.